The people at my job are insane.
Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: I'm just kidding he went to the bathroom.
me: why am i single
me: i am FUNNY
me: AND NICE
me: WHAT ELSE DO U NEED
comes in contact with mirror
me: oh
Because I have no motivation to do anything some days I hope that the people around me will get famous and I can ride into fame with them
do you ever play music you find on your dash and it’s nice and pleasant and you’re enjoying listening to it but for a second you forget it’s coming from your dash so you refresh your tumblr and as you are hitting refresh you realize your mistake and you’re like NOWAITFUCKSTOP— but it’s too late and the music is gone
Sometimes i punch myself in the face because of people who don’t understand sarcasm
do you actually punch yourself in the face or are you being sarcastic







